Auntie Stella

34. I’m gay - will anyone love me?

Theme: Sex and relationships
Relationships with family and community

Dear Auntie Stella

I’m 16 years old and I have a terrible problem. I can only fall in love with other girls. I don’t like boys at all. When I was in Form One I had a boyfriend so that I would be like the other girls but I didn’t even want him to kiss me, so we broke up.

I’m afraid and ashamed to tell anyone. My parents would beat me and chase me away. I can’t talk to anyone at church because the pastor says that men who like men, and women who like women (we are called gays but I feel so sad!) are Satanic and evil. My friends wouldn’t understand – they already laugh at me because I don’t wear dresses or have a boyfriend.

What is wrong with me? I don’t want to be different from everyone else. I hate feeling so alone. Sometimes I think about going to a phone box and calling any number, just so I can talk to someone about how I feel. All I think about is finding someone to love, but I’ve never even met another girl like me. Please help me. I’m so lonely and unhappy.

Alice

Talking points

Do you think there are young people in your community like Alice, who like people of the same sex ?

Do they have to hide their feelings? Why? If you’re gay or have a gay friend and would like to talk about it, tell the group about your or your friend’s experiences.

Alice is afraid that everyone will reject her if they find out she’s gay. Is this true? How do you think your family and friends would react if you told them you were gay?

What advice would you give Alice? Should she tell anyone? What else can she do?

QUIZ: Gay people

Which statements are facts and which are opinions?

1 It is wrong to have sex with someone of the same sex.

2 There are gay people in every society all over the world.

3 The constitutions of some countries in southern Africa support the rights of gay people.

4 Gay people will harm our children.

Why is it important to know the difference between facts and opinions?