Auntie Stella

Topics list

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Topic list

1.Should I sleep with him?

2.Is my penis too small?

3.Must I sleep with my sister’s husband?

4.I’m looking after someone with AIDS

5.I am the head of my family now

6.I want to have sex like all my friends!

7.I had an STI – am I infertile?

8.My teacher wants sex with me

9.My best friend’s gay and loves me!

10.My girlfriend’s pregnant!

11.I have strong sexual urges

12.I pay for lunch – don’t I deserve sex?

13.Pimples on my penis!

14.I may be HIV positive|

15.I’m worried about cervical cancer

16.I was raped

17.Should I have sex for money?

18.I have ‘wet dreams’

19.What are antiretrovirals?

20.She wants to have sex with me

21.My periods are irregular

22.Should I tell him I’m HIV positive?

23.Will mbanje cure my shyness?

24.My parents are difficult

25.Must I tell her about my STI?

26.I’m HIV positive. Am I going to die?

27.Can I be pregnant?

28.My girlfriend’s getting married

29.A teacher got my friend pregnant

30.My husband is unfaithful

31.I’m depressed for no reason

32.I don’t want this baby

33.My church says condoms are wrong

34.I’m gay – will anyone love me?

35.I have painful periods

36.My sugar daddy treats me badly

37.Love stops me from studying

38.My mother has HIV and says so

39.How can I cure my terrible pimples?

40.I’m HIV positive and pregnant

Ten suggested themes

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TEN SUGGESTED THEMES

1.Growing up
2.Sex and relationships
3.Safer sex
4.Forced sex
5.Unwanted pregnancy
6.Sexually transmitted infections
7.Living with HIV and AIDS
8.Speaking out
9.Relationships with family and community
10.Changing Society

Existing adaptations

2006-08-08T11:07:00Z

How have people adapted ‘Auntie Stella’?

In quite a few ways.

In quite a few ways. Some organizations have changed the Talking and Action Points on a few selected cards and used them with parents so they can discuss how to communicate better with their children. Others have adapted the way they use the cards so that young people can read them in a variety of different settings.

‘Auntie Stella’ has also been translated from English into Shona and Ndebele. In 2006, organisations in Tanzania adapted some of the letters and replies and then translated them into Kiswahili; they also changed some of the names.

Since then, Auntie Stella has also been translated into Portuguese and Chichewa.

If you need help in adapting ‘Auntie Stella’, please contact us.

Fair use

And please remember that ‘Auntie Stella’ is copyrighted to the Training and Research Support Centre. We encourage wide use of the material for non-profit purposes but, under the copyright, we require that any organisation wanting to adapt the material first obtain permission from TARSC and comply with copyright requirements. Please send us an email for more information on what that means.

Basic principles in adapting Auntie Stella

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Basic principles in adapting ‘Auntie Stella’

Everyone who works on the changes should have had some experience using ‘Auntie Stella’.

Involve young people as much as possible, as well as organisations and community leaders. They can contribute realistic stories and ideas about the replies, and they can pre-test the language and content of the cards.

Be clear about what you want each card to achieve.

Keep the language simple, instructions clear and the tone informal.

Auntie Stella should be sympathetic, never preaching or lecturing; her role is to give information and encourage young people to weigh up their options and make their own choices.

Encourage young people to believe in themselves and their ability to change, and to set goals for what they want in life. Encourage them to make links with respected elders and community institutions – they do not have to solve their problems on their own.

Encourage them to act to improve their sexual health and relationships; praise health- seeking behaviour.

Increase awareness of stigma and discrimination, and build respect toward others, irrespective of their gender, their economic, social or religious status, or whether they are HIV positive or not.

The Talking and Action Points should encourage discussion and give young people skills such as assessing risks and thinking critically about their own beliefs, relationships, cultures and societies.

The Talking and Action Points should also help them to explore how to work together and with organisations, and to get involved in decisions that can improve their lives and make their voices heard.

For more information on how to adapt ‘Auntie Stella’, look at pages 32–37 of the Facilitator’s and Adaptation Guide.

Adapting Auntie stella

2006-08-08T08:26:00Z

When is it useful to adapt ‘Auntie Stella’?

‘Auntie Stella’ has already been used with people of different ages, experiences, concerns and education, and in fact, many users make changes as they go along. However, sometimes people want to change it more formally, to suit more exactly the people they are working with, their situation and particular needs.

If you decide to adapt ‘Auntie Stella’, there is plenty of advice in the Facilitator’s and Adaptation Guide. There are also some basic guidelines here.

Difficult words

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Difficult words

AIDS	Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, a disease caused by HIV. AIDS is when the body-protectors (immune system) are so weak that the person cannot fight illness. AIDS is passed on through sex, infected blood, or from mother to baby.
Abstinence	When you choose not to have sex, take drugs or drink alcohol.
Addiction	When you are dependent on drugs or alcohol; you can't live without them.
Advocacy	Group or individual action intended to change policies, attitudes or practices.
ARVs	Antiretrovirals - drugs that help slow down the effects of HIV. They can only be taken after a lot of tests and with professional guidance from a doctor.
Assertive	Being able to stand up for yourself and your own beliefs.
Cancer	A serious disease in which cells change in an abnormal way, causing growths. Cancer can affect women's breasts, the cervix, the stomach or other parts of the body.
Cervix	The opening of the womb, at the back of the vagina.
Chiramu/Sibale	A traditional custom aimed at socialising young girls to prepare them for adult life. It is sometimes abused by older male relatives who touch the girl's private parts. This is not part of the tradition.
Conception	When the woman's egg is fertilised by a man's sperm and she becomes pregnant.
Depression	A feeling of deep sadness and hopelessness which can cause loss of appetite and difficulty with sleeping. Severe depression requires medical help.
Ejaculate	When a man reaches his peak of sexual pleasure and his semen comes out.
Erection	When a man becomes sexually excited and his penis gets hard.
Heterosexual	(straight) A man or woman who is sexually attracted to someone of the opposite sex.
HIV	Human Immuno-Deficiency Virus. The virus that causes AIDS. HIV weakens the body-protectors that normally fight diseases. You can have the virus for years without being sick, but still give it to other people through sex, infected blood, or from mother to baby.
Homosexual	(gay or lesbian) A man or woman who is sexually attracted to someone of the same sex.
Hormones	Chemicals made by the body that tell it when and how to grow and develop.
Infection	A sickness caused by germs, bacteria or viruses.
Intercourse	Another name for sex.
Kuzvarira/ Ukwendisela	When parents pledge, or give, their daughter to an older man for marriage without her choice, usually to relieve economic burdens.
Lobola	Money or goods a man pays to the family of his future wife to formalise the marriage.
Masturbation	To stroke or rub your own private parts for sexual pleasure.
Mbanje/Imbanje	Also known as dope or grass, this is the drug, marijuana, which is illegal in Zimbabwe.
Menstruation	A woman's monthly bleeding, also known as her periods.
Menstrual cycle	The time between one monthly bleeding and the next - usually around 28 days.
Morning after pill	A special combination of contraceptive pills which can prevent pregnancy if taken not later than 72 hours after having unprotected sex.
Opportunistic infection	An illness commonly associated with HIV such as TB, pneumonia and oral thrush. These infections can be prevented or treated at clinics.
Orgasm	Also known as climax or coming. When the body reaches the highest moment of sexual pleasure and excitement.
Ovaries	Two small sacs (bags) on each side of a woman's womb. Ovaries produce eggs that join with a man's sperm to produce babies.
Ovulate	When an egg comes out of one of the ovaries in the middle of a woman's monthly cycle. A woman is most fertile (able to fall pregnant) when she is ovulating.
Pap smear	A test to check for early signs of cervical cancer. A tiny piece of skin is scraped from the cervix and examined.
Paternity	When a man is the father of a particular child.
Penis	A man's sexual organ.
PEP	Post-Exposure Prophylaxis is a treatment given soon after you have been exposed to a disease, to prevent you from becoming infected. If a person is exposed to HIV, treatment must start within 72 hours after exposure.This is used in cases of rape, for example.
Promiscuous	Someone who has many short-term sexual relationships by his or her own choice.
Prostitute	Also known as a commercial sex worker. Someone who has sex in exchange for money, goods or other favours, often because they have no other way of earning a living.
PPTCT	Prevention of Parent to Child Transmission of HIV. Also known as Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission (PMTCT). Many clinics run programmes for pregnant women who are HIV positive aimed at reducing the risk of mother to child infection during pregnancy and at childbirth, through the use of specific drugs.
Puberty	The time when girls start turning into women and boys into men. Various body and emotional changes occur, such as the start of a girl's monthly bleeding.
Rape	When a man over the age of 14 years has sex with a female without her consent.
Safe sex	Sex within a mutually faithful single-partner relationship where neither person is infected.
Safer sex	Taking measures to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases by avoiding direct contact with your partner's genitals, for example using a condom or practising mutual masturbation.
Self-confidence	Believing in your own worth, value and abilities.
Semen	The liquid containing a man's sperm, released from his penis when he has an orgasm.
Sexual abuse	When a man or a woman uses force to get sexual pleasure or unwanted sexual contact.
Sexual assault	Also called indecent assault. When a man or woman touches someone in a sexual way against their will.
Sperm	Tiny organisms in a man's semen that can fertilise a woman's egg.
Statutory rape	Sex with a girl or boy under the age of 16, with or without consent.
STI	Sexually Transmitted Infection - an infection that is passed to another person during sex, for example, HIV, syphilis and gonorrhea.
Vagina	The passage between a woman's outside private parts and her womb. The place where the penis goes during sex.
VCT	Voluntary Counselling and Testing is when someone decides to have an HIV test, even if he or she is not sick.
Virgin	A person who has never had sex.
Wet dream	When semen comes out of a man's penis while he is asleep. It often happens to boys and is a sign that they have reached puberty and are now sexually mature.
Womb	Also called the uterus. A small bag-like part inside a woman's body where a baby grows before it is born.

Special themes

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Special themes

It’s helpful to use ‘Auntie Stella’ as part of a wider programme on life skills and young people’s reproductive health, and to use it along with other resources to add information and variety. One way to do this is to choose one of the ten suggested themes, and the cards that go with each one.

There are a number of different ways of using the cards thematically. One method is to break into pairs or small groups and divide the letters up between you – then at the end you can report back to the others on what you did.

When you get together, remember to explore some or all of these questions:

What are the most important things we’ve learnt from going through the letter/s and Auntie Stella’s reply?
What do we want to do as a result of working on this theme – as individuals, in our families, relationships, with friends and in society?
What help or skills do we need?
What people and organisations do we know who deal with these issues? What are they doing? How can we contact and work with them?
Are there any Talking or Action Point activities we still want to do?

End by looking at the questions you wrote at the beginning to see which ones you can now answer, and what additional information or help you still need.

Writing your own letters

2006-08-07T14:44:00Z

Writing your own letters

This allows you to raise and discuss your own problems confidentially, as nobody writes their names on their letters.

Working individually, write a letter to Auntie Stella about your own, or a friend’s or a relative’s problem or worry – about growing up, sex or relationships. When you’ve finished writing, fold your letters and put them in a bag. Working in groups of three to six, take turns to take out a letter and read it aloud. The group then discusses what to reply.

Pair reply

2006-08-07T14:41:01Z

Pair reply

This is a good way to build self-confidence and increase decision-making skills.

Work in pairs or threes. In your pair read a question card and its Talking Points and then write your reply together.

Then join up with one or two other pairs and take turns to read the questions and the replies. Discuss each one, then check Auntie Stella’s reply and do the Action Points.

Review sessions

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If you’ve been working on ‘Auntie Stella’ for a while, it’s useful to think about what you’ve learnt so far and how it’s affecting your lives. Discuss the questions below.

Questions

What do you enjoy most and least about using ‘Auntie Stella’?
What are the most important things you’ve learnt from the letters and replies you’ve looked at?
Are there any changes in your life – your feelings, attitudes or behaviour – as a result of doing the programme? If yes, what are they?
Has anything changed in your family, relationships or society because of ‘Auntie Stella’? If so, what?
How have you worked as a group, or with organisations, to change your lives and environment?

And tell us too!

home

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Welcome to ‘Auntie Stella’! If you’re a teenager, or work with young people, and want to explore and discuss friendship, love, sex and relationships, this site is for you! Read the letters young people have written to Auntie Stella, discuss their stories and her advice, and relate their experiences to your lives too.

And...

If you want to find out about our recent publications, go to ‘Auntie Stella’: News and Views. There are also opportunities for sharing information on youth reproductive health and the use of participatory approaches to health.

Auntie Stella’ was developed in Zimbabwe by the Training and Research Support Centre. It is one of the many resources TARSC produces using participatory methods. ‘Auntie Stella’ was first produced as a printed pack, with all the letters on cards. It is used with groups of young people, both in and out-of-school. Youth in peer counselling and support groups, including at youth friendly corners in clinics at primary care level, also benefit from and enjoy reading the cards. You can order the pack here.

Activity Cards

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There are 40 letters and replies to look at. It’s easy to move between them – just click on the card you want to read and follow the instructions. Or choose a theme you want to explore and select the relevant cards related to that theme. Make sure you do the Talking Points before you clink on the reply and that you do the activities in the Action Points at the end. And remember – it’s fine if you don’t agree with Auntie Stella. What matters is that you work out the best options for your life.

To see the list of letters, click here.

To see the list of themes, click here.

If you want to access the cards under each theme, use the pull down menu below.

about_order

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Do you want a hard copy of the ‘Auntie Stella’ toolkit?

‘Auntie Stella’ is also available as a printed pack with the letters on cards. The toolkit is packed in a bright blue case and contains 42 laminated question and answer cards, a 40-page Facilitator’s and Adaptation Guide and two information cards; one lists the topics in the letters and the other explains difficult words. You can find out prices and order a copy by contacting us here.

You can also download the print versions of the cards and guide in English, Shona, Ndebele, Kiswahili, Portuguese and Chichewa. These are available from the TARSC publications database under the ‘Children, women and youth’ section.

Footer

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Using Auntie Stella

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What are the different ways of using Auntie Stella?

There are a number of different ways of using the ‘Auntie Stella’ letters and replies. You can look at them on your own or, to make it more fun, you can do it with a partner or a small group of friends.

Try these four ways of using the cards:

Basic method: choose a letter from the topics list, read it, and discuss the Talking Points. Then click on Auntie Stella’s reply. Don’t miss out on doing the Action Points after the reply since they help you put into action, individually and collectively, what you have learnt.

Pair reply: This builds self-confidence and increases decision-making skills. Working in pairs, read a question card and its Talking Points and then write your reply together. When you are finished, compare and discuss your answer with Auntie Stella’s reply, and do the Action Points.

Writing your own letters: Working individually, write a letter to Auntie Stella. When you’ve finished writing, put your letters in a bag. Take turns in small groups to read a letter aloud. The group then discusses what to reply.

Special themes: Click here to find out how to use ‘Auntie Stella’ according to 10 different themes.

If you want more detail on how to use ‘Auntie Stella’ we suggest you download the Auntie Stella Facilitator’s and Adaptation Guide.